Feel so useless day by day. Feel like a faicai. I do nothing at all recently. All I fancy is to eat, sleep and drama. Since I got into Secondary school, I became so fcked up. Project , late. Homework, late/incomplete. Attendance , out of 100 days, I'm only in school for 50 or even lesser. Exams, last minute revision. Sometimes I feel like I'm so bai kah. I'm so spoilt and used to buying something without even thinking if I'm gonna use it or not.
I'm used to all the bad habits I got from Malaysia. Teachers wouldn't even care because I'm a local. But here in Perth, If my attendance is less that 80%, they might even kick me out of the country. That depressed feeling after I do something stupid is killing me. I don't want to be like this. Everyone keeps telling me, "You're lazy because your mind says you are. If you really want to get rid of this habit, you can." Bullshit it is. I've been trying so hard not to be so lazy and disorganized but I just can't.
Motivated myself to clean up my room, It's the third week already and I'm still hopping out of my room because my floor is all littered by my bags and books and bits of papers and notices. But still, I blame the room for not being big enough, never blaming myself for not cleaning up.After finishing one assignment, the next comes. And my teachers love to give it all in one week, and due it the week after. And knowing that I'll be having golf for first period on mondays, which means leaving home 1 hour earlier,and golf last period on wednesdays, which means reaching home 1-2 hours ++ later, makes me feel like I've got not enough time. So then, I'll be whining to my parents how life is so hard here blablabla, end call, procrastinate again wtf. -.-
With this kind of attitude, I told my dad I'm gonna take the lawyer course. FUCKMYLIFE i hope the world ends. Yes, I'm freaking kiasu. I hate it when someone is better than me and I blame the teachers for not teaching me properly.
Bye.
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